Secrets

Why is it a guy can master all of the electronics in the house, TV, Remotes, Stereo, DVR, Tivo,and fix anyhthing that goes wrong but  becomes a total moron when it comes to the everyday mundane things like the dishwasher, stove, oven washing machine, dryer,etc.  It is normally because he has never been exposed any of those things or perhaps because they are not "manly." Well........

It is no a matter of being manly or femine it is a matter of getting things done as qwuickly as possible so that the two of you can sit down together and relax and talk about the day you have had.  Start with te easy one first dishwasher.  Given a choicebetween hand washing  or loading up a dishwasher it is a no-brainer, dishwasher.  Walk him through it a couple of times.  Sure you can do it faster on your own but think kid and now you have it.
Thank him for all of his help, coax him along.  He is a smart guy ( you wouldn't be with a dummy right?) It will work wonders.  Try it, you'll like it.

Staying with it!

I asked someone yesterday what is the secret to a long marriage. (He and his wife are married fifty-two years.)

 His first response was - Compomise.  He went on to add; Never go to bed angry. Be the first to say "I'm Sorry."  And mean it, even if you are wrong. He akso told me you can never say the three magic words enough- " I love you."

Always put your spouse first- before the kids, before your parents, before friends, co-workers, neighbors, golf buddies, before everyone.  And first and foremeost he told me, "Just keep working at it.  Every day!"

I like his philosphy and plan to find more couples to ask the same question.  Stay tuned.

Finding the right one-

 

It is three am, pouring down rain and your car just konked out.  Who do you call?  And why?(Your parents are out of town.)  The answer to that question should tell you a lot.  If it isn't your boyfriend / fiance' than you need to rethink a lot of things. 

 

 If he is not willing to come out at three am to help you, what is he going to do when the baby is crying her heart out in the middle of the night.

 

Is he the type that would get up and help you out? No.  Then you are going to be stuck doing a lot of things on your own. Just realize that but also realize that marriage is a partnership, you help out each other.  Sometimes it is not the easiest thing to do but that is what makes a partnership survive. Think about it.

Choosing a soul mate -

 

Although many people say you cannot "choose" a soul mate, rather it is a matter of chance or Karma  however there are some things that you can keep in mind when evaluating potential husband.  First an foremost Extreme Makeovers are for houses and not husbands. You must remember that with a potential husband, what you see is what you get. 

 

Don't choose him with the thought that you will change him over time.  It is just not going to happen.  Choose carefully.

 

Staying with it-

 

The other day, I interviewed an older gentleman who told me he and his wife just celebrated 58 years of marriage. I asked him what was their secret of longevity.  He told me, "You have to work at it everyday, just like anything that is important to you in life.  You will have good days and you will have bad days but overall the good days will win out."

 

"You just have to make a commitment that you will work at it everyday that's all.  No big secret but it also helps to marry your best friend." 

 

That's the secret, you have to work at it everyday just as the old man said.  It is no walk in the park but remember happiness is a journey not a destination.  Enjoy the journey, every day.

I did not plan to start off my New Years blog by writing this but I saw a report quoting the majority of doctors find that the number one question (over 90%) that they get asked by their a patients is: Am I normal? The answer is yes of course you are normal, you may be different but you are definitely normal. This blog is for you... and for me.

 

I am an old fashion romantic and a romance writer. I write about it, I live it, and I firmly believe in it for all ages. I read where the younger generation (20 somethings) believe they are different than their parents and every other generation that has come before. But an overwhelming majority of them (78%) still want to get married, settle down and have a family. These are the same goals of every generation.  

 

How do you choose the right person to spend the rest of your life with? What advice would you give others to help them choose the right person?  What is the secret for a long marriage?  What would you tell your friends to look for or avoid when choosing a potential life long soul mate? What would you advise a newlyweds?  Tell me your good and bad experiences, anonymously and maybe this blog can help you and others.  

 

 I am in a unique place in time, I have many, many nieces and nephews in their twenties and thirties but I also know couples who have have been married 30, 40 50 years and more.  What is their secret? What keeps them together for so long? That's what this blog is all about. But I can't do it without you. 

 

I will post whatever e-mails or Tweets that can help.  Let's talk, and hopefully with the help of this blog and friends everywhere you will know when is it time to stay or time to Move On and you will know why. 

 

Send me an e-mail, post a blog or Tweet me on Twitter.  Also for a little self promotion, if you are looking for a good old fashion romance e-book to cuddle up with, check out my latest romance novel, Love Letters.  If you prefer a Mystery / Thriller, check out The Potus Papers.  For $2.99, what do you have to lose.

 

Let's Talk.